Slowly, I have come to realize that I am. But my cruelty is rather sweet.
More than once, I have observed dungeon play in which the masochist submissive's ass went from a large patch of pink... to red... to bright red... to a huge patch of blueish-purple fully covering most of the cheeks before the scene is even over. And if you know about the stages of bruising, you know that the bruise will continue to bloom and swell over the next 24 hours or so... so that submissive is going to be seriously, seriously marked and sore. I've seen the sub who has open wounds and is bleeding from caning and/or whipping. That person will probably also bruise up over the next few days.
Some subs want that. I'm not judging. I'm just saying I'm not that type of domme. Oh sure, when we're done, you might have some bruising appearing a day or two later, unless you've specifically asked not to be marked in which case I will err on the side of caution with impact activities. [If you want this kind of rougher play, my friend sinfulnostalgia is your type!]
But I definitely am a sadist--just in a different way.
I am the Dominatrix who is going to have you count the strokes that I administer to you. When I notice that you are flinching and starting to writhe and yelp and try to move away from the paddle, I might come close to you, so you can feel my body heat, and whisper in your ear, "Yes, that hurts, doesn't it?" as I caress that tender spot with gentle fingertips. Then I'll give you a few more strokes and if I can't hear you, you're going to have to repeat the count. "You'll do those again for me, won't you sweetheart? I know you want to make me happy. You can do it. Just a few more." WHACK. WHACK.
"Ouch!" you bellow, and I pull close to you again and say softly, "Say 'Ouchie, Ms. Sandalwood, ouchie, please, no more!' Go ahead and say it."
You comply as I paddle you again: "Ouch, Ms. Sandalwood! Ahhhh!"
"Ouch is NOT a safe word," I admonish, and spank you some more.
I am the sadist who is going to tickle you in between bare-hand spankings, poke you in the ribs, pull your hair, and pinch you. You will squirm and squeal and try to get away, and I will giggle and gently mock you and simply continue until I'm ready to do something else. You might even laugh a little, too. I hope you do, but if you don't, that's OK, too. This weekend, my little subby actually yelled "DOG FUCKER!" and we had a laugh... and then I kept on going.
If you cry--and sometimes submissives do cry because being helpless is cathartic and they need to release all of that emotion--I will pet you, and hold you, and I will understand, too, that I have unlocked something powerful inside of you and I will cherish that. Because I'm that kind of sadist.